Casino Theory

I have a theory when it comes to casinos and baseball. It is based on my personal experience on how the cards fall compared to my abilities. When I pitch poorly I win money. When I pitch good I lose money. The universe must think I pitched okay so far because the casino received my deposit.

After the Staten Island trip we came back and played their crosstown rivals the Brooklyn Cyclones. The Cyclones have a similar record as we do and it was good to see how we stacked up against a fellow team in the bottom of the standings. We won all three games. Two of them were high drama games. On the second game of the series we went extra innings and we won on a walkoff catchers interference. With the new rules in baseball you have to allow a base runner a clear lane to slide into home. Their catcher did not.

The following game, which I pitched in, was 10-2 when I came out and we ended up holding on for a 10-7 victory with the bases loaded. I did okay in my appearance. I felt like I made good adjustments compared to my previous outing. I wasn't leaving the ball all over the place and was consistently in the zone more. I gave up a few first pitch knocks that were lame but besides that it felt good. I had a 2nd and 3rd with 1 out that I ended up stranding both of those runners. Then in my second inning of work I had a quick inning including a strikeout.

My strikeouts have been a bright spot for me this year. Without at least one or two an inning I'm not sure how I would still be here. I was talking with a AA rehab guy about the situation. He agreed that if I do well and get guys out then it can be written off as well I'm older I should do well. If I struggle, then it looks a lot worse than struggling at a higher level. I am going to go with doing well then letting the front office decide on how it looks on paper. If the velocity I have is there and my slider is there and working then I think that will translate to when I go back to Salem.

I've been replaced on the roster with an imposter. When I saw that my number was being worn it bummed me out. It was one of the things that kept me positive knowing that my jersey was waiting for me when I go back to Salem. It also gives me motivation to get back to Salem asap so I can reclaim my number. I have been keeping up with their games every now and then and I am ready for the playoff push. It doesn't bode well for me when there have been roster opportunities and I wasn't chosen to appear back on the Salem roster. A righty reliever goes down and I think to myself geez if only there was a relief pitcher somewhere already on the roster that could be summoned to pitch. That situation is out of my control I know that.

As far as the trade deadline goes there have been three pitchers from the Salem roster traded away in the last week. We had one starter and two relievers traded away. Does this open a spot for my return? That is a question for someone else to decide because just like everything else around here it is out of my control. I would like think that I would be at the top of the list of guys that they'd consider to finish out the season where I started. I also know that my opportunity was wasted and I pitched myself off the roster. I went into today hoping that something would be said to me when I got to the field but nothing pre game. Let's hope it's a post game conversation. If they bring up two different relievers to fill those holes then to me it solidifies the thoughts that the Red Sox are moving on and keeping me here just to have someone in Lowell with no intentions of bringing back. My uninspiring pitching in Lowell hasn't strengthened my case either. Also, if I end up going back I better walk the talk because I've been talking a lot of improving and contributing.

We finished our three game sweep in dramatic fashion on Saturday. The next series started up on Sunday which is how the league works. A lot of three game series. The trip this week is down here in Connecticut to play the Tigers. Their ballpark is an older one which our coaches said nobody comes out to games. Maybe it's the Connecticut fan base.

It looks like a good ballpark to me. We had to use two relievers the first day and still have a few guys left to throw in the rotation. One issue we have is that we have new draft guys who start games but only throw 1-2 innings which means the bullpen covers the rest of the game. Always exciting seeing guys get their first professional innings and experiences under their belt. The guys who haven't felt the cold sting of pro life yet.

It is almost August which blows my mind. I've thrown the most innings I have ever had in a season which is nice. Although it's been the worst one I've had yet. I thought about the other day in 3 appearances which totaled 2 innings I surrendered 9 runs. That'll hurt the overall outlook on the season. Especially as a reliever. This is the final month of the season, and then a few games left in September. If I end up back in Salem there is a chance that I will be in the playoffs. It would be sweet to win a championship. Another outside possibility is instructional league, but that is usually geared toward the younger crowds. Right now I'm going to be the best Lowell Spinner I can be.

The Best of Times, The Normal of Times

Another week in Lowell has come and gone. The team was on the ropes when we got back from Williamsport after back to back walkoff losses.

When we returned to Lowell we had the double header on the first day then two normal games. After that it was a three game set against Tri City. My name was called on the Tuesday game against Aberdeen. It was a tough day for pitching to start. One of the pitching rules here is that if you go over 35 pitches then you have to come out of the game that inning and certainly not going out for another. Our starter and first reliever both went over 35 in the first two innings. My bud Jared did well and threw three scoreless and then it was my turn to pitch.

I must have blacked out or something because when the outing was over I had thrown 4.0 innings with no hits, no walks, no runs and five strikeouts. I was doing what my coach had me working on and it was working. My pitch count was low and after my third inning the coaches asked if I was good for a fourth inning. At this point being here I think it would be foolish to ever take myself out of a game or cut my outing short for any reason. I went out for the fourth inning and did well. It was the longest and most successful outing I've probably ever had based on the circumstances. On one hand it was great and I'm proud of what I did and on the other I remind myself it is rookieball and I should be able to do well against these hitters. The goal for me this year was to get innings that's what I am getting here, which beats sitting in the Salem bullpen not pitching.

One treat we had on the home stand was playing against Tri City. They had a big league rehabber named Dallas Keuchel who has won a Cy Young. He was making a rehab appearance and he looked sharp to me. It was fun watching a big league guy pitch and go about his business.

My next appearance wouldn't be until yesterday against the Staten Island Yankees. It went okay in my estimation, I went three innings in relief and once again was asked if I was good for a third inning. I said yes, and I proceed to go out and walk the leadoff hitter. Rookie move. If part of the development for me is to push me past points that I feel comfortable then they are succeeding in that regard. There are no real roles in the minors from what I understand. Once you move up a few ranks then the roles start to take shape. My seven innings in one week is certainly a new high for me. I'm happy with the way my body is able to hold up.

I got away with both of my leadoff walks thanks to my pitching and some good defense from my center fielder. He bailed me out of my third inning by throwing out two guys on different occasions to help me escape a jam.

I didn't feel like I had my best weapons on the mound. My slider was doing slider things but I didn't feel like I had the zip on my fastball like I normally do. My coach mentioned how my last outing it looked like I was guiding a little bit and I felt that. He is a big if you walk guys it's because you're scared of contact from the hitter. I disagree but while I'm part of his team I'll have to play the part of the guy who agrees. For me my walks are something I think happen. Would I love to not walk anyone ever? Of course that's the goal. To say I'm scared of the hitters is it true. If you walk guys you don't pitch long. That's the facts.

We did some site seeing after the game because hey why not it's New York City. It was fun to unwind if that's even possible while walking around NYC. We went to a few different places to check things out and then called it a night. The travel from the city back to Staten Island wasn't short, and we went from a 5 am wake up on Sunday to a 1 am return to the hotel. It was a long day for all of us but glad I went and experienced it.

If my stats were like this in Salem I'd be happy with it. The fact that it's here in Lowell it bums me out. The three weeks I have been here have been fun with the new guys, but I would like to go back to Salem at some point. Most of my stuff is there, my buds are there, the team is in first place and having fun. In Lowell we are one of the bottom feeding teams which changes the mood. I'm doing what I can to rally the troops and keep the team on a positive in the face of all the losses that are piling up. It's the complete opposite of what I was mooching off of in Salem.

I've been here for three weeks which is longer than I anticipated. I'm resigning myself to staying here the rest of the summer. That way the universe sees that and then sends me back. If I'm going out I want it to be from Salem. If I'm pitching well, I want to help the team in Salem secure a playoff spot. While I'm here in Lowell it's giving me a good chance to get my innings and work through my problems every few days rather than sit on my thumbs each week. The next step is two more games here in Staten Island then an off day Wednesday. After that I'm not sure where we go from there. I'm going to take it one pitch at a time and work on my physical and mental approach. I'd say 80% of my innings probably more I haven't looked the exact numbers, but they have been solid. Ive had a few real stinkers have been mixed in. The good has been there though.

I'm certainly not going to hit any performance goals I set out to start the year. With a little over a month to go I can readjust what realistic goals should look like going forward and then I can hit some new goals.

The good in me has shown its face a few times. I've still got the jersey which means I've still got a chance.

Longest Trip – Complete

Apparently this was the longest trip we have all season for the Lowell Spinners. It was not a kind trip for us as we split a series then were swept. 

The first opponent was the Batavia Muckdogs. They are the Marlins affiliate. This is supposed to be one of the worst trips and one of the worst complexes in the league. 

The playing surface wasn’t the best. The field wasn’t the best, the mounds weren’t good, but overall I don’t know what the hub ub was about. I pitched one inning in the second game and it went ok. Outside a wild pitch and one hitter I made it through my inning. I am trying some new things with the pitching coach here and this was the first time I was able to try them in action. One thing we suggested is spreading my feet a little bit more, something I have done in the past but moved away from. I’ll give it a whirl though if he thinks it can help. It was a much better improvement from my outing in Lowell. 

The next day we were supposed to play at 11 am to finish the series. Unfortunately but fortunately for us as the travel day was long the rain was in the area. The radar was from the morning of the day game and the rain was coming right for us. It was nice they made the decision to bang the game right away around noon instead of waiting all day to see what happens. That allowed us to get on the road and head to Williamsport. 

The next stop on the tour was the Williamsport Crosscutters. They are associated with the Phillies. 

Their ballpark was also supposed to be the worst. The Lowell Pitching coach was here in 2010/11 and he said it was a dumpy place to place each day. When we arrived you would not have thought that. Apparently MLB is hosting a few big league games here in the next couple of years. With that in mind the MLB fronted the money for the Phillies to make their ballpark nicer and fan friendly. The field was great and the bullpen mounds were good also. The only part lacking was the game mound. It had a lot of holes in it and my first few warmups I had trouble finding the best place for my pushoff leg. 

I came into the game in a 3-3 tie in the bottom of the 11th. My first inning went fine and I was able to work out of a few base runners to strand them. My second inning I was able to get a few ground balls that were not hit hard enough for double plays, but had the winning run in place at 2nd base with two outs. I made a bad pitch over the plate and the guy was able to flare one to center for the walkoff single. 

It never feels good to be the cause of the loss. However, for me it felt good to be considered worthy enough to be in the game with the game on the line. I have not been in a place to earn a loss this entire season starting in April. It was good to see how my effort level and how my heart rate responded when put into a do or die situation rather than a mop up situation. I had a couple more walks which add to my impressive tally this season. It’s a bummer when you give up a run and it happens to be the last run of the game. One of the hard parts of being a reliever. Another fun part was the trash talk from the fans. One guy said that I have no flow. What a jerk. 

 Overall I felt like I hit my spots where my catcher was calling for it. If they hit it then well that is baseball. My slider has improved to the point where I feel comfortable throwing it at any point. The next step is mixing in some fastballs where I want them and I am good to go. 

I can feel my window of opportunity dwindling down but at the same time I do feel like I have improved from where I started. One goal was the develop a reliable breaking ball that I can be consistent with. In my last appearance I didn’t feel scared or psyched myself out at all. Before if I had a walk I thought it was because my brain was betraying me. This time I felt good with my brain which is a good step going forward. Another first for me this year was that we had a female umpire. I have never seen a female umpire before and she was the field umpire when I was pitching. I thought she did a pretty good job behind the plate and I can imagine it’s tough breaking into a male controlled sport. 

The team is currently on route back to Lowell on a six hour overnight trip. Then to follow that up we have a double header tomorrow when we get back, a night game, then an 11 am game on Wednesday. While driving back we decided to stop for a quick stretch around the 4:00 am mark with about an hour to go. Wouldn’t luck have it that the Aberdeen Ironbirds were there hanging out. They were also taking a pit stop and stretching their legs. 

Then another three game set and if I am still here I will be heading to New York City for a game or two which would be fun. My goals stay the same with being the best Lowell Spinner I can be. If I am going to go out then hey so be it I know that I’m doing everything in my power. I’m realistic about my flaws and know what I can control and mix into my system to try and help me out. 

Back in Lowell the 1st rounder is making his debut which means the brass will be in town. If I can get a word with them that’d be great, or they can watch me pitch and see that I am making the improvements they want to see. It will be a big series for me in that regard. 

Home Appearance, Long Trip

The first home games of my Lowell career are in the books. We won all three and are now on a good roll with four wins in a row. I have no idea what the standings are in the league but winning four in a row never hurts. 

The setup at Lowell is like playing for a college team. The players stay in dorms, use the cafeteria for meals, and the rec center for workouts. Instead of four to a room in my set up we have two guys sharing a two bedroom. Shared bathroom and shared shower, a small common area, also known as the basic dorm set up anywhere in the country. It’s not the worst set up, guys don’t have to worry about where to live or how they will make it to the field because it is about a 5 minute walk from the complex. 

The rainout in Aberdeen allowed me to set up shop in my dorm at 1 am rather than doing it the morning we got back. That was nice because I was more alert and listening than if I sat on the bus all night. The next opponent was the Connecticut Tigers, and the first game we got off to an early start and ended up with an 11-4 victory. I thought I might get to throw the 9th inning that day so I could get more appearances but they have to work in the guys they just drafted also. 

The next night was my day to get action. I warmed up in the 4th incase our pitcher ran into trouble but then he went back out for the fifth. Two quick outs later I figured the third hitter would be his last no matter what and he ended up reaching on an E4. Long story short, my inning didn’t go so well and a guy hit a home run on the first pitch I threw, however the umpire didn’t call it a home run and technically it was just a double. I thank him for that. I ended up walking the next two on not even competitive at bats then struck out the last guy who chased a pitch. Their manager was ejected for the second night in a row for arguing about the no home run call. The night before he was ejected for arguing a foul ball call. I may or may not have thought the ball was foul so I went to make a play on it and then pulled up at the last second. Stupid on field bullpens always causing trouble for everyone involved. 

I had mentioned to our pitching coach that my mental block is only with right hand hitters. Lucky for me all my hitters were right handed and my self fulfilling prophecy was coming true. When I was in Rome in 2015 I thought my issues came from my mechanics which is not the case this year. My mechanics have improved but my brain power has been weak. I have never felt this lost on the mound as I have the last 3-4 outings I’ve had. The cool part about the outing I had was that we were wearing a jersey with R2D2 on them. 

We auctioned off the jerseys after the game. Someone bought my jersey but when it came down to give it to them they weren’t there. A mystery buyer that wanted the 39 jersey walked away with it, but missed out on the cool photo op. The next day we wore Paw Patrol uniforms, and the Tigers had their own Paw Patrol uniforms. Lowell is a lot different than Salem. In Salem we just hangout during the game and there isn’t music bumping or let’s make some noise chants. Here it seems like between every pitch they play a song or clap your hands or some gimmick sound clip. Before the games they invite kids into the dugout to get autographs. One of the coolest things they did the first game I was here was have Revolutionary War reenactors shoot off their muskets each time we scored a run. The first time they did it I forgot they were here and it was loud enough to make me snap my head over to see where it came from. 

The good news that I am on the bus to Batavia and then Williamsport. Apparently this is one of the worst fields to play at, as well as one of the worst bus trips that the Spinners make. So I’ve got that going for me, if I would handle my business in Salem then I wouldn’t have been put into this spot in the first place. The old axiom if you don’t like it then play better. 

After the Batavia trip we head to Williamsport, PA for a three game set. Then we start a seven game set against Aberdeen and someone else.  My current mood is to be the best Lowell Spinner I can be and figure out my issues on the mound. 

The Return

The road trip started off with a 14 inning thriller against the Lynchburg Hillcats. For whatever reason in baseball the games where we are traveling somewhere else to continue a trip or traveling home always take the most time. The good news is that the 14 inning game tilted to our favor and we won 6-5. That makes for a better bus ride than losing in walkoff fashion. 

From Lynchburg we traveled through the night to Wilmington to play the Blue Rocks again. I think they are getting tired of seeing us every other series. The series with Wilmington went 2-2 with Salem winning the final game in extra innings. 

When the team rolled into Wilmington I knew there was a chance that I could be activated or continue to throw bullpens. The first day there Joe told me that there is a chance I could be sent to Lowell on a rehab assignment to get innings and compete in games. From a development standpoint that is always nice to face hitters  after a month layoff where I have been playing catch and throwing bullpens. I’m not sure the difference between being sent down or being in rehab, but I guess I will find that out. This was also the plan for me around the All-Star break to get me into games, but the plan has come to fruition now. Any team is better than riding the DL and not pitching, even though this is the most fun I’ve had as a professional with the coaches and teammates that I’ve met. 

On June 28 I hit my three year professional celebration. Three years is longer than I expected after the draft came and went four years ago. Teams are still giving me chances and running me out there to capture my potential. That is all I can ask for is a chance to continue to develop and refine my game. Three year anniversary leading into my fourth season. 

Another event happened over this road trip in Wilmington and that was my 26nd birthday. For most 26 year olds being in High A and being sent to rookie ball is not ideal. The good news is I pitched my way into this spot so I can pitch my way out just as quickly. Getting my mind right and getting the ball rolling in rookie ball might be exactly what I need. I tried to keep my birthday low profile because I am embarrassed where I am at as a 26 year old career wise. I asked both my coaches where they were at on 26, and both of them were already World Series champions. Age is one thing that rustles my jimmies every now and then, but I always thought if you can play you can play it doesn’t matter how young or old. The umpires don’t check IDs when you step on the mound or in the box. The biggest surprise was the team getting me a cake, which I have no idea who organized it. It was a shock to me but it was fun to let everyone in on the celebration. 

After the game on Monday it was time for me to go. I was being told that I was being sent down to Lowell on a rehab assignment. I’m not sure the difference between a rehab assignment and a regular assignment to Lowell. I guess when I find out I’ll let everyone else find out. I stayed back in Wilmington while the team made their way to Zebulon to take on the Mudcats. The Lowell Spinners were playing in Aberdeen against the Ironbirds. 

I was hoping to get in the game the first day to knock off the rust and there was a good situation for me. We were down 4-1 in the 8th and this would be the last inning if the score stayed this way. If we tied it or took the lead then I would be good to for the ninth. My heart felt like it was opening day all over again. My performance was pretty good and I was able to get out of the game without any runs. Throwing up a zero is always good on any team for any pitcher. After a month off I was glad that the inning was productive and I can build off this for the next one. My arm didn’t explode and my body felt good for being out there for the first time in a while. I have been working on replicating game speed in my bullpens but being back in the game was a lot more fun. 

We are in Aberdeen for two more games then heading back to Lowell to make my debut there. If I get to throw every two to three days then this will be a productive assignment for me. If this is just a way for me to be put to pasture then I’ll give my best effort there. My attitude is take the positive route then retrain my brain. I’m looking forward to the next time out on the mound and the work that goes on each day between outings. 

The Workshop